I accepted a part-time hourly at-risk tutoring job in the school I student taught in. It is going to be extremely rewarding for many reasons and I look forward to officially starting. After I accepted, I wanted to share my excitement so I made an announcement on the good old Facebook. Many likes later, half of my family and friends misread my post and think I'm teaching full-time, salaried. Nope. I sure wish I was that person. I know will be in the near future. But not at the moment.
Maybe I wrote the post poorly and maybe my friends read it wrong, but either way, explaining the miscommunication took away from my excitement. Many friends couldn't see why I would be excited by that kind of work. One friend even suggested I go into business so I can make more money, like my life goals are even remotely attached to getting rich. Making my happiness public in the end only made me miserable.
In the days following, I began to realize that the person I am on social media, mainly Facebook, is not who I am in real life. My Facebook persona has her shit together. Apparently she also has a full-time, salaried job with benefits. She is funny, looks flawless with the X-Pro filter, has two adorable kittens, and even though her mom passed away after a four-year battle with cancer in September, she seems to be coping just fine.
I hate that person. The real me is messy, grieving, living with my newly widowed father while he helps me pay the bills, and working part-time. (Side note: the having two adorable kittens part is totally true). I like the real me more, but it isn't okay to show that person on social media.
So on one side, I'm not supposed to talk about my problems on the Internet, but at the same time I'm also not supposed to brag too much. I hear people complaining all the time about how they hate how their Facebook friends are getting engaged or having children. My solution for now: taking a break from Facebook. I'm sure I'll be back, but this is what I need to do right now.
